Negotiating on Behalf of Someone Else – Without Losing Your Voice

One of the more underrated skills in the EA role is the ability to negotiate on someone else’s behalf; often quietly, behind the scenes, and with very little recognition.

You’re managing time, access, expectations and sometimes even conflict, all while making it look effortless. Negotiating for someone else doesn’t mean you don’t get a say.

In fact, it’s a mistake to think you should remove your own voice entirely from these conversations. You’re not a mouthpiece. You’re not just relaying messages. You’re a strategic partner, and that means your judgement, confidence and communication style matter just as much as the message you’re delivering.

What makes this type of negotiation unique?

When we talk about negotiation, most people think of high-stakes meetings, salary discussions, or boardroom deals. But for EAs, negotiation is part of the everyday rhythm. You negotiate:

• Shifting meeting priorities

• Competing stakeholder needs

• Pushback on decisions or time

• Sensitive dynamics within the business
  

And often, you’re doing this on behalf of your executive or leadership team which adds a layer of complexity. You’re carrying their authority, but you also need to interpret, deliver, and occasionally soften or reframe the message.

It’s a skillset that combines influence, empathy, confidence and clarity. The goal isn’t to bulldoze a conversation or always get a yes — it’s to get the best outcome for your exec and the broader team, without creating unnecessary tension.

The risk: Losing your own voice in the process

Some EAs fall into the trap of only delivering what they’re told. They feel like they can’t (or shouldn’t) question, suggest, or shift a strategy. The reality is, the best EAs are trusted because they do use their own voice.

If something feels off, they raise it. If they sense the ask won’t land well, they offer a better way to phrase it. If the timing is wrong, they negotiate an alternative. And if a request doesn’t align with what’s actually possible or reasonable, they say so.

That’s not insubordination. It's strategic leadership.

So how do you do this well?

Here’s a few practical things to keep in mind:

1. Understand the intent behind the ask

   Don’t just focus on the “what” ~ understand the “why.” This helps you represent your executive more accurately and gives you flexibility in how you get to the end goal.
   

2. Be mindful of tone and delivery

   You are often the first impression people get of your exec’s expectations. Your delivery matters. Aim for clear, professional, and human ~ assertive but never aggressive.
   

3. Set boundaries around your own time and judgement

   If you’re consistently being asked to deliver unrealistic messages, negotiate tighter turnarounds, or handle unnecessary conflict, it’s worth having a conversation. You are not a buffer for burnout.
   

4. Back yourself

   You’ve got insights, context, and frontline knowledge that your executive often doesn’t. Your experience matters. Use it to shape conversations in a way that serves everyone, including you.
   

My final thoughts

Negotiating on behalf of someone else is part of the EA role. When done well, it builds enormous trust and respect. But don’t lose yourself in the process.

Your voice, your confidence, and your insight are what elevate you from a support act to strategic partner.

You’re not just speaking for your exec. You’re representing the high standards, good judgement, and calm authority that make you invaluable in the first place.

Nina 🌻